What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model based on the idea that we are made up of a system of different parts, and that these parts work together in an effort to help us navigate life as effectively as possible.

You might have an anxious part, an angry part, a sad part, or a part that doesn't want to feel any of those emotions at all. You might have a part that wants to fix things, another that wants to avoid difficult feelings, and another that works hard to keep everything under control.

IFS isn't about getting rid of these parts or deciding that some parts are “good” and others are “bad.” Instead, we become curious about what each part is trying to communicate and how it may be trying to protect you based on experiences you've had in the past.

Why Do We Have Parts?

Many of our patterns develop for good reasons. As children, we don't always have the support, resources, or capacity to process difficult experiences and emotions. We may find ways to survive what we're experiencing by shutting down feelings, disconnecting from certain memories, becoming highly responsible, staying busy, keeping the peace, or learning not to show certain emotions.

Over time, a response that was helpful in a particular situation can become habitual. A part of you may have learned something like:

Emotions aren't safe.

No one is going to be there for me.

If I show my feelings, something bad will happen.

I need to take care of everything myself.

These beliefs may have made sense given what you experienced at the time. But years later, the same protective patterns can continue showing up even when your circumstances have changed.

IFS helps us begin to understand how your internal system has become organized and what your different parts may be trying to accomplish.

If you're experiencing chronic anxiety, chronic stress, or another persistent pattern that you wish you could change, we don't necessarily see the symptom as something that needs to be eliminated as quickly as possible. Instead, we can become curious about it.

The symptom can become valuable information—a kind of trailhead that guides us toward aspects of your experience that may need attention and healing.

What Is “Self” in IFS?

A central concept in IFS is Self-leadership. Self can be understood as the grounded, present part of you that is capable of approaching your internal experience with curiosity, compassion, and greater perspective.

When we have greater access to what IFS calls Self energy, we may experience qualities such as curiosity, calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connection.

Rather than trying to get rid of an anxious part, for example, we can begin to approach that part with curiosity and kindness. We might become interested in what the anxious part is worried about, what it believes might happen, and what it has been trying to do for you.

The goal isn't to silence or eliminate your parts. It's to develop a different relationship with them—to be able to meet anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, or other difficult experiences with greater presence and compassion.

What Does IFS Look Like in Therapy?

IFS works naturally alongside Somatic Experiencing and Brainspotting because all three approaches involve slowing down, becoming curious about your internal experience, and noticing what is happening in your brain and body.

At the beginning of IFS work, we might simply begin to map your parts—getting to know them and noticing how different parts of your internal system may be organizing your present experience, even when those patterns aren't working particularly well anymore.

Over time, as you develop more awareness of what these parts may be carrying from the past, there can be an opportunity for healing.

I may invite you to turn inward and notice how you experience a particular part. You might experience it through a physical sensation, an image, a feeling, a thought, or a sense of where it is located in or around your body.

As you begin to recognize a part as a part of you rather than all of you, we can begin to relate to it differently. In IFS, this is called unblending. Instead of being completely caught up in anxiety, anger, fear, or another emotional state, you may be able to step back enough to become curious about the part that is experiencing it.

From this more present and curious place, we can begin to listen to what the part is trying to communicate and understand what it has been carrying.

Sometimes, this may allow a younger or more vulnerable part to experience emotions that weren't fully processed or supported at the time—perhaps fear, sadness, anger, or grief. As these experiences are witnessed and processed, the beliefs these parts have been carrying may begin to shift.

How IFS Can Support Healing

Healing doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of difficult emotions or never experiencing anxiety again. It can mean developing a different relationship with the parts of yourself that carry these experiences.

As you become more familiar with your internal system, you may begin to recognize when a particular part has taken over, what it is responding to, and what it may need.

Over time, this greater awareness can create more choice. Instead of automatically reacting from an old protective pattern, you may have more ability to pause, become curious, and respond from a more grounded place.

IFS, Somatic Experiencing, and Brainspotting

IFS can complement Somatic Experiencing and Brainspotting particularly well. Each approach invites you to slow down and notice your experience rather than immediately trying to analyze, suppress, or move past it.

Anxiety, chronic tension, overwhelm, or other persistent symptoms can sometimes offer clues about what is happening internally and what may need attention.

Through attention to both the mind and body, we can become curious about what a particular part may be carrying and what it may need.

The work is often gradual. Rather than forcing insight or pushing toward a particular outcome, we instead allow your internal experience to unfold at a pace that feels manageable.

I'm Alicia Ankenman, MA, LPC, SEP, BSP, a therapist based in Boulder, Colorado. I work with clients in Boulder, Louisville, Lafayette, Longmont, and surrounding communities. If you're curious whether IFS might be a good fit for you, I offer a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what you're experiencing and answer your questions.